The first two weeks of your life flew by. Or did they? In one way they did. Before I knew it I looked at the date and you'd been with us for two weeks. But then in another way we were so busy and sleep deprived that it felt like weeks and weeks had gone by before any semblance of normality returned.
I remember people telling me 'the first two weeks are the worst, once you're past those things start getting so much better'. And so, two weeks after your birth I woke to a feeling of positivity, knowing that today was a turning point. But it wasn't. We were still struggling with breastfeeding and you were constantly hungry. Once I started getting out and about and meeting up with people, they started to say 'it's the first six weeks that are the hardest - things will start to get easier once she's six weeks old...'.
Do people make this stuff up!?
Daddy had taken two weeks off work when you were born. I'm so glad he did. As I've already told you Daddy was amazing. He was a fantastic Daddy from the word go and you had him wrapped around your little finger the moment you entered our freezing cold, snow-covered world. But he loved it.
With us at home and struggling with the breastfeeding, Daddy took the strain of everything. He did so much for us in the initial days. I could barely walk straight because of all the stitches I'd had so getting up and down off the settee was really hard work. Daddy did all that for us. He cooked my tea, made me drinks, brought you to me when you needed to feed... he was my rock.
But then Daddy had to go back to work.
I'd been dreading that day since I left hospital and I think you knew it. My anxiety levels had been climbing and I passed that on to you.
The day Daddy went back to work, Nana arrived at our house at about 6.30am! I was so grateful to see her. You see, while I was totally and utterly in love with you, you still scared me. You were so tiny, so dependent. And I had to look after you on my very own for the first time. It scared me so much! I think you felt that because you didn't behave in the same way you had up until that day. You had the longest sleep you'd ever had and I got worried you were hungry. Stupidly I woke you up from a deep sleep to try and get you to eat something and I think you were a little grumpy about it! You spent the rest of the day crying and refusing to eat anything.
I was worried sick! But Eileen, our health visitor, told me not to worry, that you didn't look like a hungry baby and that you'd eat when you were hungry. And she was right... as usual!
From that day forward we seemed to turn a corner. You helped me so much in what was a tough week. You were an angel and you made my life so much easier.
Mummy xxx
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